Human beings need to talk, we need to communicate with each other and, sometimes, we need to reveal some aspects of our lives and our selves. There are situations or places that are very propitious for confidence. Let’s see some.
During a trip. For many years a trip by any means of locomotion encouraged communication with the traveler next door and engaging in a long conversation. Unfortunately, mobile phones have put an end to this custom in most cases and now you can travel without saying a single word to the “other”.
This is not always the case, fortunately. Sometimes there are exceptions. Not long ago he was flying from Istanbul to Barcelona and was carrying in his hand a book he had just bought about Sinan (the great Ottoman architect).
The passenger who was traveling in the other seat knew Sinán and, with this excuse, we began a conversation that lasted the entire flight, in which we made a small but intense summary of our lives, without omitting some somewhat lurid detail and some confidence that we did not you would have it with no one.
The trip has the attraction that your random companion is for a few hours, and then disappears without a trace.
In the arms of love. The passing bed is usually another place where the lover tends to tell details of his life, even if they are small pieces, but in many cases enough to give you a general idea of the character.
All espionage services throughout the centuries have had special confidants who recounted confessions made in these situations. Perhaps the greatest was the famous Mata Hari, but she is still one of many.
At a bar counter. Bars aren’t like they used to be either, a meeting place between acquaintances and strangers, which provokes the urgent need to tell the “other” about life.
Bars have also suffered from the plague of mobile phones and today you are more likely to find lonely individuals sitting in front of a phone than talking to each other, unless they are friends and not even that. But don’t lose hope, because sometimes confidence and conversation can arise.
One night I was alone with nothing to do in a small town, whose name I don’t remember, near Stuttgart; I started a conversation with the bartender that lasted for a few hours and in which he told me the most intimate details of the relationship with his partner, with his family and with his friends, with the complete certainty that we would never see each other again after that night.
I wasn’t looking for a client but a confidant, and that’s sometimes hard to come by. I admit that on that evening I learned more about life than reading hundreds of books.
In a clinic. When you feel bad physically or psychologically, you tend to transfer part of what you carry inside to the doctor, the social worker, the psychologist. The relationship that is established can be intense and surely the listener discovers unknown details of the patient, which he does not want to be known by third parties.
I admit that I have never been in this situation, but I guess that the clinic or the sickbed are also very suitable places for confidence. Although there are recalcitrant people.
Many years ago there lived next to my notary’s office a married couple who had not spoken to each other for many years; When the husband’s last hour arrived, we went to see him and told him it was time to explain the reason for such a long silence, but the patient turned around and passed from this world to the other without saying a single word.
In a notary. If there is a proper place for confidence, this is a notary’s office. In fact, the authors who work on notarial law emphasize that one of the functions of the notary is advice, and even that this function is much more important and relevant than giving faith or legal advice itself.
This is not always the case, nor do all documents or legal transactions encourage confidence, but some clearly do. A will is nothing more than a short but intense story of a person and a family, which with a little scratching can serve to get a general idea of a lifetime.
The testator or the testadora in many occasions gets naked and tells what he would never tell his spouse or his children, and possibly he will do well, because there are things that can only be said to a stranger or to someone who you will only see once.
In a confessional. The confessor could not be missing in this relationship. However, there is a big difference between this case and those previously reported. In the confessional one recounts his sins, asks for forgiveness and fulfills the imposed penance.
On the other hand, on a trip, at a bar counter, in the arms of love, in a clinic or in a notary’s office, one tells life as it is, or as it has been, without requiring a pardon. In all cases, one wants to release some of the “burden of one’s self” by revealing the secret or simply telling a personal story.
Speaking about our life without having to write it, albeit partially and even biased, is a need that we all have at a given moment. Curiously, modern times, apparently very open, do not facilitate this task, because true confidence has nothing to do with a Facebook page.